A relationship can be described as a rollercoaster ride: there is the excitement of meeting someone new and getting to know him or her in the climb to the top. The rush of falling in love and even getting married is the stomach-turning drop and twists. Then the relationship comes to a lull and the ride slows down. However, that doesn’t have to be the case.
Dr. Marika Martin is a licensed clinical marriage and certified family life educator who has worked with couples, families, and individuals for over 17 years. She talked with Dr. Marsie Ross of EdLyn Essentials as a part of the weekly Wellness Wednesday.
Dr. Martin recommends that discernment therapy helps couples that are ambivalent about their marriage. The therapy also assists with the couple deciding what route to take with their relationship if they find themselves in that lull.
Dr. Martin recalled that Dr. John Gottman of the Gottman Institute has researched that most couples split not because of sex or finances, but because of a disconnect. Small signs such as less talking or not greeting one another upon seeing each other for the first time all day can be a sign of emotional disconnect.
Dr. Martin suggests that small gestures can reinforce a connection between couples. For example, sharing a dream with one another upon waking up or calling while at work during the say just to say ‘hello’ is a great way to reinforce the connection. Dr. Martin explains, “Bids for connection is how often are you turning towards your partner.”
Love maps are reigniting the curiosity of your partners’ life. Appreciation within couples goes a long way. Showing that you are grateful for the gestures your partner shares can also reinforce a connection. Balance, strength and longevity can lead to a happy life and relationship. Dr. Martin recommends that being patient and flexible with yourself is vital. Making sure to have fun with yourself can help one love to your family and friends. Self-care with intention trickles to your family. Don’t wait for a date night. Be sure to have those connections with one another as often as possible in order to keep the connection going.