EdLyn's Blog

The Guide to Intimacy after 40

As you grow older, you only become more beautiful. In this beauty, you can find a sense of intimacy and passion you never knew existed. You aren’t alone though if you are at a loss of how to properly bring out this sexuality. It’s time to take a deep breathe, and throw away all your preconceived notions about what intimacy after 40 is like, and start taking notes.

What’s ‘Normal’?

Although everyone has their unique circumstances when it comes to sexual frequency and intimacy, on average those around the age of 40 do have a decrease in sexual activity. According to WebMD, the average couple goes from having sex 112 times a year in their twenties to only 69 times a year in their forties. This needs to change!

Does it Matter?

Yes! According to a study conducted by the Kinsey Institute, “Relationship satisfaction in men depended on health, physical intimacy, and sexual functioning, while in women only sexual functioning predicted relationship satisfaction.”

Women are very passionate and sexual beings. No matter the age, there will always be a need to be held close and shown what a magnificent beauty you are. When you stop expressing your sexual desires and limit sexual frequency, it’s the same as shutting off an essential part of who you are.

How can it be better?

Be proactive

Realize what you want, and let yourself have it. Never let anyone make you feel you need to think or feel any type of way. Only you can tell yourself what you desire, and only you will be the one to make it happen.

If you aren’t sure where to start, try communicating with your partner. Even if you have tried before, never be afraid to try a new approach. Sometimes even just getting to know them as a person again while paying attention to his slight movements can really help things move in a more pleasant direction.

Show Your Body Some TLC

Dr. KaNisha Hall said it best when she spoke on how women will get their eyes checked and go to the physician annually but sometimes neglect the more private areas. It’s important to always be highly aware of your system and to make sure it’s running the way you like with constant maintenance. Wash up well, checkup often, and grow up happy.

Also, it never hurts to take some supplements to help boost your mood. When what you have just isn’t enough, store bought is fine.

Realize You Are Not 20

Before you start to feel discouraged, this is not a bad thing. With age comes sexual experience and mental maturity. Yes, your body will feel different due to menopause and other unfortunate side effects of life, but you can still feel that much-needed passion.

A commenter on WebMD gave the best description of this feeling. “My wife and I are a year or two off 80.  We still make love about twice a week on average … making love at our age is not like making love at 30. Age brings a mental maturity in what satisfies sexually but also physical difficulties as our bodies get creaky.” This story shows with love and acceptance, lovemaking can always be a beautiful part of every couple’s life into very old age.

Touch Touch Touch!

Hugs, kisses, and gentle hand holding are all things that should be done every day. Sharing a natural physical connection with your partner is something irreplaceable. When you stop touching them, in a way, you are breaking the connection you have with them.




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